fucked up

now dat im attached ive neva felt sooo happpi but yet when things doesnt go as planned,i will surely missed my life bein singlee and soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo carefree..im thinking twice right now..shld i stay or go..it has onli been a few mths of relationship and now im starting to feel the doubtfulness...wad i have for him is it sympathy?love or just plain satifying each needs of satisfaction...but im tired of satisfaction and fantasizing..cause its time to be back to reality where we need money..and for me to make a choice between loving u which means sacrification is needed and im back to single hood and be independant i guess i rather choose option number 2...cause my life is deteriorating ever seems i meet u..yes its a sign of regrets but im just giving it time to work out..hmm i guess im just not ready to be in a commitment.. leave me alone can

ALLLLLLLLL POINTS DOWN TO MY FAULT...U NEVA TRUST ME AFTER THAT INCIDENT..Y EVEN BOTHER TO TALK TO ME??CALL ME IMMATURE??TAK BERTIMBANG RASA? CAUSE I DON GIVE A FUCK BOUT WAD U TINK ANYMORE AS IM LEADING MY OWNN LIFE ANYWAY...UR ADVICES ARE LIKE USED TISSUE ANYWAY...I DON NEED UR FREAKING LOVE *MUMMY DEAREST*..I SWEAR ITS TRUE...

ITS ALL BOUT THE MONEY

I AM FEELING SOOOO ANGRY..SO ANGRY AT MYSELF DAT IM WILLING TO ISOLATE MYSELF..I DON EXPECT U GUYS TO CONTACT ME EVERY NO AND DEN JUST BECAUSE U GUYS HAVE SOME FINANCE PROBLEM..U GUYS THINK DAT IM A HAPPY GO LUCKY PERSON IS IT..I AINT UR BLOODY BANKER OKIE IM JUST A GIRL WHO HAPPENS TO WORK AND HAVE GOOD MANAGEMENT OF MONEY EVEN THOUGH MY PAY CAN BARELY COVER A MONTH NEEDS..HAIZZZ...I EVEN CANNOT EAT SINCE I HAVE TO USED UP DAT MONEY TO BORROW U GUYS OKIE...AND NOT DAT U GUYS CAN PAY ASAP INSTEAD U GUYS KEEP BORROWING BORROWING AND BORROWING..ORG SURUH CARIK KERJA CEREWET LAH PULAK..TYPICAL SIMPLE MINDED ASSHOLES...EH TAKDER KERJA TAKDER DUIT LAH BODOH!!!

IM VENTING IT OUT HERE CAUSE I DON HAVE ANYONE TO RELY ON..NOT NOW!!CAUSE UNLIKE SOMEONE IM ALL ON MY OWN..DON BLAME ME IF I WILL BE SUCHH A BITCH TO U..

L.O.V.E

"THEY" had an argument again...i hate it wheneva dat happens cause i cant help much to comfort her..wateva she see in him cause all i see is a big monster hidden in a wolfs clothing...SIMPLY HYPOCRITE just like her father..wateva happens to bein honest and understanding towards each other feelings..cause dats love where i don tink big sacrifice is needed until it jeopardise ur own family relationship or ur career...but then again it takes two hands to clap to make it happen sooo i aint putting the blame on him onli but also her own stupidity...untill den i just have to pretend like noting happen and act as if everything is alrite or hoping dat it will be alrite...other den dat i actualli had some minor problems dat needs to be solved which includes financial..gosh..it all points down to money..is it realli true dat money cant buy love cause i totalli disagree...cause money brings happiness and prosperity...soo yah...other den dattt...wateva it is i hope dey last long if onli dey can talk things out....

besides dat.....i don know y i have dat someone in my mind...my urge is to just get his number and get to know him butt i realli don know wad is stopping me cause im just scared i guess..the trauma i had have not been recovered....

other den dat...notng much have been happening..i just wanna say dat working just sucks lah...i dread goin to work..i miss those times where i just have to sit down and listen..i will come back to those days...in a yr time after my bond...i cant wait..

im sitting here recalling the memories i have with my x old frens..oh gosh i was like omg..we are all grown up alreadi..is either dey are engaged or settling down..dey used to be teenagers..omg..the times of arguments and childishness...which reminds me..i saw her in hospital just now..i wanted soo much to just say sorri but i don know wads stopping me.i guess it not the rite time...dey say apologising is d hardest words and i guess dat true even though it is a humble act and not to forget a wise one....i guess some things are just meant to be left alone...and just get along wif the things dat comes along in life..u get over it and move on...learn from it and don repeat the mistakes...

and also i was in a jealousy mode yesterdae but i realli realli feels dat its time for me to move onnn and just be frens.....

haiz cancel my 150 dollars ticket or make more money

morning morning singaporeans....its 1022 hrs and amzingly im wide awake..im coughing to due the super cold weather lahhh..luckily i don have to work..omg it will be such a dread...anyway talking bout work..im in such a dilema...11 12 13 im suppose to do nites...but on the 13 i have my batam trip...and dere is absolutely no one who wants to change wif me as it is chinese new yr...taking mc is my only options...but den i told my sister dat ive rrequested it alreadi...hmmmm if onli =just if onliii i can have dat day off i promise to be good...im soo stressed sei...i don care its gonna be big hassle...especially for rathi...at least let me do my 2 nites and den my last nite it will be mc lorrrrr............haiz i neva want to do this but i have tooo...im sooo sorrii my colleagues....


besides that...i had the shock of my life sei...my brother gf is his childhood fren..okieee..hif gf adik alsooo used to be my fren....and den my bestest best fren bf fren is my brother gf adik frens....TAKE DAT!!!!!!

19 yrs of living and feeling sooo emo

19 yrs of living in this holy place called earth...being born in a coutry whereby its the size of my mole on my eye...living in a culture of love and traditions but i don see it nowadays...even though it was suppose to be rich in culture but den it has turn other wise..i see ppl imitating the western style where deres no respect,deres no differeciating the genders and not to forget the kindness dat was suppose to be expressed...teenagers nowadys think sooooooo differently..it is soooo different that even though im onli 19 i can see the age gap.a sec 1 can get pregnant..a primary 6 child bein raped by its own father..omg what has the world turn into..i guess the end of the world is coming...
the word love dat brings soo much hatred in ppl to the extend that dey use black magic just to feel love and be in love...greediness selfishness and vengeance is all i see....

yahh i know y am i soo philosophical all of a sudden but just maybe its time to think it thru...its time to face all this discriminations and the in justiness...and when the women are bein demeaning to themselve and guys bein alll materialistic or tooo egoistic...wadeva happen to SIMPLICITY..

other den dat... LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE...

ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER DREAD

hello....its been some time dat i last updated my blog...well noting much have been happening..as usual life justtt have to make it dramatic and crappy....dats when it hit eu life sucks..and honestly working world isnt fun...its true ive regretted bein a slacker during sch times...basically work sucks lahh..
besides dat..in terms of relationship...frens shld be okieee lah...stil hanging on to them.. boyfrens??nahhh still living my lovely singlehood mingling around...

me??typically my life is a little bit boring..

fined!

HAIRPY MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!ITS D DAY WE EXCHANGE OF PRESENTS..UNFORTUNATELY I DO NOT CELEBRATE IT..YAHH...

NOTING MUCH HAVE BEEN HAPPENING TO ME..HEE YEAH RITE..i was bloody FINED for littering....300 bucks gone just like dat man..haiz...i was at the edge of a building hoping for the money to drop down on my hands..in the end it was solved somehow someway....but i will neva ever forget how it was earned my god...leh taubat babe...and i promised to neva ever waste my money..money is sooooooo powerful...it can changed a person..as for me for a betta person i guess...the the day i was fined was the day after my bithday...woahhhhhhhhh...this kind of memories will neva be erased...i can neva forget the expression of the guy dat fined "us"..i went hysterical dats for sure....right ehem......soo yah other dan that...

work..hmmmmm another stressful topic..well the system shld neva never changed to taking 12 pts..look at how it goes...we are back to having more mc rates...oh im not one of dem dats for sure...stupid or wad..luckily i was in night shift when dis happens..so i was not affected buy then it came to me dat i will be having no more nights..omg...soo i will taking 12 pts..omg omg..dey shld have just stick to 9 ptts..dere was no mc rates and we were happy coming for work...haiyooo dumb dumb dumber...yah dats all.....

frens??same old same old bunch of frens...im starting to miss my ite colleagues though..especially my cp group which will be kak j,mag,huijuan,sarras poovli fendi hafa,serene!!!,yah etc etc...

as for me...fucked up dats for sure my slowly and steady im getting the taste of blissful life...my priority is dere and striving for it no matter wad...love life??i don have one..yah well call me a heartless one but maybe its not the right time yet wadeva..i don need one anyway...